Old Things... and New Things...

Even though I'm always glad for the arrival of Summer, it's always tinged with a little bit of sadness - less and less every year, but it's always there, and it's always going to be. A few years ago, vaguely around this time of year, I - and a lot of people in my life - lost someone important; probably one of the best friends I've had. I think back and I'm still inspired by my friend, and it still fascinates me how she managed to remain so upbeat, even as we began to see less and less of her over time. It's things like this, people like this that shape who we are and who we want to be. We all want to be the best person that we can be, so what's stopping us?

For me, I know that I'm in my head way too much sometimes, and that I need to just move way back into the present and get on with life, but sometimes, those far off, vaguely possible eventualities terrify me. But the problem is, not getting on with things now means that I might not get onto those far off eventualities, as likely or unlikely as they may be. And there it is, the shunt that takes me back into the reality that I'm in, and stops me daydreaming about lighthouses and illustrating children's books whilst simultaneously designing my own range of furniture... because I can't get there if I don't do this part of my life now.

Forgive me, I think I'm rambling a little bit...

The way we handle things that have happened to us, the things that are in our past... old things, shapes the way we see the future, whether you're a realist, optimist, pessimist, whatever-ist. It's really important to value experiences that you have now, and make the little things important. Remember the things that make you happy... and the things that make you sad, because honestly, you never know what you're going to be facing the next day.

I wish I'd had more time with my friend, that I'd gotten to make a few more of her days brighter, but I can't anymore, and I just have to rely on the idea that maybe, just maybe I managed to help make something brighter, whether it was a day wandering around the small city that I call home, or cracking a stupid joke in an IT class, I just hope that I made a difference. But now, I try and make everyone I meet smile, and it can be harder with some people more than others, but making someone smile, for someone as emotionally... muddled as I am, can just make you feel properly again.

Yeah...

- AJ